Sex Gets Real 194: Mono, wanting lots of sex, OK Cupid name change

Happy New Year! This is dropping on New Year’s Eve 2017, so let’s shuffle 2018 in in style. I got myself a gift of a new vibrator. I’ll be reporting back with my thoughts over on Patreon for supporters there. You can support the show, too!

On to listener questions!

A listener wrote in saying her hottest fantasy is having her boyfriend fuck another woman. But, there’s a catch. She is super jealous and doesn’t think she can handle it in real life. What can she do? Patreon supporters Cadessa and Seductive Verse have lovely advice about taking it in stages, and then I add on my thoughts.

Sometimes fantasies are just that – fantasies. Ideas and scenes meant to fuel our arousal and desire. If we want to make our fantasies into a reality, we can do that slowly and with lots of support, especially if we’re scared.

Hungry for Cock wrote in. She’s in a monogamous relationship of 10 years, but she started cheating 8 months ago with an older man. She had no idea sex could be this good and now she wants sex with everyone she sees. Is that wrong?

Wanting sex is never a problem as long as we’re choosing it for ourselves, but what is a problem is the cheating. It’s time to either open up your relationship or end the relationship before exploring all of the sex you want to be having. Let’s have sex with integrity and ethically – both for ourselves and for the people we have relationships with, even if it’s hook-ups.

Rod wrote in because he’s 37, he’s just started making out with a new partner, and he ended up with mono. How did this happen? How can he talk to this new guy about having mono? And is his sex life over forever?

Mono is super common, especially when we’re younger. Most people have dormant versions of the virus because it’s just that common and spreads from coughs and shared drinks. You can read all about mono at the MayoClinic website.

More importantly we have to be able to talk about these things with partners. If we can’t, we shouldn’t be having these kinds of relationships. So, the most important thing is for Rod to talk to his partner. How? I have thoughts.

Polyamorous Duck has big feelings about OK Cupid’s recent decision to eliminate usernames. I think it’s a mistake and share why.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It’s true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Dawn Serra

Meet the host of Sex Gets Real, Dawn Serra - sex educator, sex and relationship coach, podcaster, and more.

I am the creator and host of the laughter-filled, no-holds-barred weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real. I lecture at colleges and universities on sex and relationships, too.

When I’m not speaking and teaching, I also work one-on-one with clients who need to get unstuck around their pleasure and desire.

But it’s not all work! In my downtime, I can often be found watching an episode of Masterchef Australia, cooking up something delicious, or adventuring with my sexy AF husband.

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Episode Transcript

Dawn Serra: You’re listening to (You’re listening) (You’re listening) You’re listening to Sex Gets Real (Sex Get Real) (Sex Gets Real) Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra (with Dawn Serra). Thanks, bye!

Happy 2018, listeners! This episode is dropping on New Year’s Eve 2017, which means in the next couple of hours, all of us are going to start celebrating and ringing in the New Year. Hopefully, safely and in a way that feels good for us. Most New Year’s I stay in my pjs and relax. Tonight, I’m going to hang out with friends and we’re going to have a big potluck and play games. I hope whatever it is that you end up doing for New Year’s feels fun.

I also hope that your 2018 is full of joy and growth, mistakes and play. I know that I am very much looking forward to 2018. I’m also super excited because at the recommendation of Kate Kenfield, who has been raving about this toy that she adores, I have treated myself to a brand new toy. I’m getting that on Tuesday. It’s a little New Year’s gift for myself. We will see how that goes. Sometimes a toy that everybody loves is a toy that just doesn’t work for your body and sometimes it’s exactly what she needs. I’m really looking forward to trying that out. We shall see what kind of trouble I can manage with it. 

Dawn Serra: I also wanted to let you know that my o.school live streams, which some of you have been tuning in for, which is so fun, are all about pop culture and Hollywood. This Wednesday, January 3rd, I am doing a live stream all about “Black Mirror” and what it tells us about the future of love. Season Four just dropped, of “Black Mirror.” I have watched the whole thing. I marathoned it in a 24-hour period. I will be live streaming Wednesday at 6pm Pacific, all about future, technology, love and the lessons that “Black Mirror” reflects back to us on how we see love and relationships today. If you’re a “Black Mirror” lover, be sure to tune in. It’s free. It’s at o.school. That’s the website. I stream there every single week about pop culture now. You can interact with me live in the chat and also check out all the other amazing pleasure professionals who are doing work around sex and relationships. So check that out. 

This is also going to be a short episode. I have been traveling for Christmas and prepping for New Year’s. I just want to keep this pretty short and sweet. Patreon supporters, if you subscribe at the $5 level or above, there is going to be bonus content for you on Patreon. So head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast to tune in and listen to that. Also, thank you so much for your amazing support. Let’s jump into listener questions. 

Dawn Serra: I got a question a little while back that I actually posted in Patreon. For folks who don’t know, people who supported at the $10 level and above, get a chance to weigh in on some listener questions. So I’ve got some of their advice to add into the mix. The listener question says, “Dawn, I love your podcast. I’m catching up on all of the old talks with Dylan. I’m a straight woman in her 20s and I fantasize about my boyfriend of a few years having sex with another woman. This is my biggest fantasy at the moment and at some point, I’d love to have another one woman come into the picture for a night of playtime. But I’m a very jealous person. I’m not sure if I should just stick to my fantasy or play it out in real life. I feel like I’m too jealous to see it go down in real life, but it’s my biggest turn on. What do I do?” 

Patreon supporter Cadessa wrote, “I think I would try it. But in stages. Maybe you and your boyfriend could say that he’s allowed to kiss another woman when you both go out and see how you feel when it happens. You won’t know how you feel about something until you experience it. If you feel that the jealousy is just too much when he’s kissing another woman, then sex would probably be at least as bad, if not worse. If you find yourself turned on by it, then you’ll know that sex would be a turn on, too. I relate to you in this fantasy. So I’m also interested in Dawn’s take.” 

Dawn Serra: Then, Seductive Verse said, “Great advice, Cadessa. I agree. Take baby steps. See how you feel watching him dance with another woman, touching her, holding her close. Does that fill you with rage or excitement? If that’s enjoyable, watch them kiss and proceed accordingly. It doesn’t all have to be at once. It can just be dancing or kissing for a while before you take it further. Just communicate with each other as you go along and have fun.”

Thank you so much, Cadessa and Seductive Verse. I love your advice. I think that’s a beautiful place to start. Sometimes our fantasies are truly just fantasies. They can be the thing that just turns us on so much and gives us that beautiful, epic experience of pleasure and escape. We don’t have to live them out. Sometimes we really, really want to, but keeping the fantasy exactly what it is is what it’s for. Other people really want to live out their fantasies and do, from threesomes and kink clubs to opening up their relationship and having group sex to all kinds of yummy, juicy things that came from their mind and their erotic fantasies, and then became real life. 

Dawn Serra: The thing with so much of this is exactly what Cadessa said. You won’t know how you feel about something until you try it. Now, sometimes we know ourselves well and we can anticipate what our experience will be and how we’ll feel about it, and then adjust accordingly. But sometimes we do surprise ourselves. The thought of starting this slowly could be a really beautiful place to start – the dancing, the talking. 

Then, maybe, if you talk to him after he’s had a chance to just talk with another woman, it’s important too to remember that whoever these people are that you’re experimenting with, they need to understand what’s happening so that they can opt in or opt out. You don’t want your boyfriend to start talking to somebody and dancing with someone and making out with someone and they’re starting to get their hopes up that something interesting could happen. Then, all of a sudden, he goes to her and just disappears because that’s not fair. We’re talking about another human being who has feelings and hopes and dreams and desires. We want to respect that. Even though this is about your fantasy and being interested and involving another person, we need to make sure that we’re doing that ethically and respectfully. Otherwise, it’s just plain shitty. 

Dawn Serra: So think about it. You’re allowed to have a fantasy that you don’t want to turn into a real life lived experience. You know I’ve talked about this in the past, but I have a couple of fantasies in my spank bank that really get me off. If I just need to come or if I just need to get myself aroused really quickly, I have these fantasies that I turn to that work all the time. They are so hot for me. 

I had an opportunity to live one of those fantasies out. It was just like, “Eh.” It wasn’t at all what I thought. The reason for that is because in my head, I can control all the circumstances. In my head, I can control their movements, what they look like, their motivations, their feelings about me. All of that gets baked into part of what makes it so hot. In real life, I had so much less control. Certain circumstances were unfolding that were part of the fantasy, but there was lots of other pieces of it that weren’t. So it was just like, you know. I mean, it wasn’t bad, but it also wasn’t the super, super hot spank bank material that I would have expected. Leave room for that, too. You might decide you want to try out one of your fantasies, and then it’s a little bit disappointing or it’s just not quite what you thought it would be based on what you’ve had in your head. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It just means sometimes real life is a little more nuanced and a little more complex than our fantasies have to be, which is the point of our fantasies. 

Dawn Serra: But if you start tiptoeing into trying this out and you find that you’re jealous, but it’s manageable, especially if you and your boyfriend do certain things afterwards, it could be a really fun space to play. Maybe if he is dancing with another woman and making out with another woman, and then the two of you have a really, really romantic intimate date the next day and you talk about it and you explore your feelings, then it helps to mitigate the jealousy, and then potentially down the road, you can take it a step further. 

Keep in mind that it doesn’t have to constantly be this escalation. If watching your boyfriend make out with another girl is really hot for you, and then the two of you go have super fucking hot sex afterwards, you don’t ever have to Go beyond that. You can also try something, and then decide it was a step too far and come back as long as the two of you are collaborating and co-creating and it’s feeling really good. It can feel complex. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong either. You can have feelings of jealousy at the exact same time that you’re having feelings of arousal and desire. So give yourself permission to explore some of these messy, unclear spaces that might be really hot, but also feel really intense. As long as the two of you are communicating about it, then it could be a really interesting space for the two of you to go. 

Thank you so much for listening and for writing in, Thank you to Cadessa and Seductive Verse for helping to answer the question. I loved your advice. If you want to help give advice on the show, you can head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support at the $10 level or above.

Dawn Serra: Hungry for Cock wrote in. It says, “Between a hard dick and a soft one.” “Hi! I just discovered your podcast and I’m in love. I’m a 31-year old girl and I’ve been in a monogamous relationship with a guy for ten years. But I started cheating around eight months ago with this older guy who’s 66 years old. I was a virgin when I moved in with my boyfriend. So this is only the second person that I’ve had intercourse with. I never thought sex could be this amazing. I actually never enjoyed sex for the last ten years because I thought I had to please my boyfriend. But this older guy has shown me so many fucking things. Now, I crave sex. I find myself thinking about having sex with everyone that has a dick. I guess in the back of my mind, I still think it’s wrong with me to have all the sex I want to need. But is this such a bad thing? I hope you have some words of wisdom. Thanks so much.” 

Well, first of all, thank you so much for listening to the show and for writing in. You know I love hearing from you. So to everybody listening, if you have any questions for me go to dawnserra.com and you can use the contact form. Onto your question. There is nothing wrong with you wanting all the sex that you want and need. We all have different levels of needs at different points in our lives. For many of us, they change drastically as circumstances and context and life changes as well. Right now, it sounds like, for you, experiencing a lot of sex is important. And that’s okay. What’s also important though is that you’re in a relationship with someone who believes that you’re monogamous. So not only are you putting your boyfriend at risk by having these affairs and not disclosing, but it’s just also not fair to him, the lying and the allowing him to believe that something is true when it’s not. 

Dawn Serra: If you want to be having multiple sexual experiences, experiences and relationships, that’s super okay. But you need to be taking care of and tending to the relationships and the commitments that you currently have. So if your boyfriend is in a monogamous relationship with you, you need to have a conversation with him about either opening up the relationship or ending the relationship, if it’s not something that you want to be in anymore. Once you negotiate those new terms and/or you part ways, you’re welcome to have all of this delicious exploratory sex to learn about what works for you what you’re interested in and maybe find a relationship that’s a better fit for you, whether it’s an open relationship or just somebody who has something to offer that’s different than what you’re getting right now. I love that you’ve had these yummy new experiences that have taught you sex can be amazing. 

Also, keep in mind that sex can be so many different things with so many different people. So, giving yourself an opportunity to ask your boyfriend for new things is super okay. But if you’re just completely over it and you really want to be having these new experiences, end that relationship first. The pain and the betrayal and the trauma that it can cause someone when they discover that they’ve been lied to, especially repeatedly, just sucks. It’s terrible. So celebrate your newfound love of sex. Enjoy the fact that you know there’s something else out there. Celebrate that you’re giving yourself permission to have these needs and wants. Do whatever feels safe for you as far as your body goes and the boundaries that you have. And deal with the relationship that you’re currently in before you do anymore. You owe that to the commitments that you’ve made and your integrity, and then you can ethically have any kind of sex and relationships that you want to be having. So good luck. I know there’s probably some uncomfortable conversations in your future, but hopefully that then gets you to a place where you can enjoy and savor all of the things that you’re curious about and have fun. 

Dawn Serra: Are you looking for a new way to kick off 2018? Well, head to dawnserra.com/courses. I have on demand workshops all about email, porn plus relationship charters, sex map games, reconnection kits and so much more. So head to dawnserra.com/courses and check it out. Plus, be sure to tune in for my o.school streams every single Wednesday afternoon where I talk about pop culture, sex and relationships for free. That’s o.school. See you there!

Rod wrote in with the subject line of, “Kissing.” “Good morning, Dawn! Rod here. I must start out with that I absolutely love, love, love your podcast. I’ve only been listening since I discovered the world of podcasts for the past couple of months. Somehow, your pod was one of the first I ended up listening to. I’m thankful I did. However, I never thought I would have to be writing in for help. Let me start out by saying, I’m a gay guy and I’m a bottom. I’m almost 37 years old and I’ve only let one man have sex with me. That was an off and on thing for ten plus years. I felt hard for this guy, but finally realized we were never going to be anything other than friends with benefits. 

Dawn Serra: It’s been almost a year since I’ve seen him. Since then I’ve come to terms with not being relationship material. However, I have met someone a couple of months ago, who gives me everything I look for in a sexual partner. He’s actually taken me places in the bedroom I only dreamed of going to. It’s hard to find someone who has the desire to play like I do. It doesn’t help that I’m a chubby guy. Being chubby makes it so much harder to find someone and that sucks. 

But here’s my real trouble. I was just diagnosed with mono – the kissing virus. I’ve had a sore throat for about a week and thought it was just allergies and that it would go away, but it got really bad. So I decided I’d better go to the doctor because I thought it might be strep. Wrong! Boy, was I ever wrong and embarrassed. The doctor said that you can get mono from sharing drinks or sharing silverware. But I think that you and I both know where I got it from. I really want to ask this guy if he knows he gave me a mono, but at the same time, he doesn’t seem to be sick. Where else could I have gotten it from? I’ve decided to quarantine myself away from him and everyone else. I haven’t told anyone what’s wrong. So here I am writing to you because I’ve got to get this out. 

Dawn Serra: I’m kind of scared. What have I gotten myself into? Could it be worse than just mono? How do I tell him what’s going on? Furthermore, how do I ask him if he’s the one who gave it to me? I mean, I really like this guy. But I’m so ready to be over this nonsense and realize it’s something that’s always going to be with me now. I’m stuck with it. I can live with that. But if this partner doesn’t work out, I guess I’m kind of done. I don’t know. I’m confused and in a situation I never dreamed I would be in. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. Any advice or knowledge you have is greatly appreciated. Much love and big hugs. Rod.”

First off, Rod. Oh. I’m so sorry you’ve got mono. That is something that so many of us can relate to. Here’s the thing with mono. It’s most often caused by the Epstein Barr Virus, the EVV. That’s something that so many of us get exposed to from a variety of places. I mean, you can get mono and EVV from coughing and from touching something and from kissing and from sharing a straw. That’s why most people actually get immune to the EVV when they’re very young. It’s also why so many people when they’re in high school get mono because everybody’s just sharing germs and everything’s going around. Once you have the virus in your body, it’s just there all the time. It’s really rare that people have a recurrence of mono because our bodies develop immunity to it. 

Dawn Serra: Mono is something that tons and tons and tons of people have already been exposed to. They have it in their bodies. It’s not a big deal. So I wouldn’t worry too much about moving forward. I mean, so many people either have had mono itself or they’ve just been exposed to the virus, and they have antibodies in their bodies to it. Unless you have an active outbreak of mono, it’s pretty much not a big deal. I mean, everyone on the playground was exchanging versions of it at some point, even if they didn’t get sick. 

It’s super common. It’s not like something that’s going to ruin your sex life or you’re never going to find someone. Now, of course, there can be complications from mono if it goes untreated. But most people tend to go to the doctor because they feel super tired and they get a really sore throat, just like you did. Just take care of you. Sometimes it can take a little bit of time for it to work out of your system. Also, mono can exist in your saliva for months after an infection. So just be aware that if you kiss someone new over the next couple of months, then the virus can still be active. Otherwise, it goes into a dormant state. 

Dawn Serra: Now, I got all this information from the Mayo Clinic. So I’ll post the link to this on dawnserra.com for this episode. People can go check it out. It’s a good resource to just have in your back pocket. But feel free to head to the Mayo Clinic and just read over, not only their page on mono, but also some of the supporting links that they’ve got about it reoccurring and the connection to Epstein Barr. And take care of you. It can be really exhausting to have mono. Many people know. 

As far as what to do with this guy, anytime we’re exchanging with any kind of human, we’re putting ourselves in a situation where we might get a cold, we might get the flu, we might get – whatever it is – because all of us are just carrying all kinds of different bacterias. Some of the things that we might get from somebody are socially acceptable like the cold or pink eye or the flu and others are things that are a little bit more socially charged like herpes or HPV or mono. It’s just what it is to exist in this world where we’ve got all kinds of different bacterias and viruses and illnesses and to exchange lives with each other. 

Dawn Serra: So it’s super not a big deal that you’ve experienced mono. Lots of people have. It’s really, really common. The only thing that’s just a little bit different is most people have it when they’re a little bit younger. In fact, most people have it and don’t even know that they’ve had it because they didn’t even have symptoms when they’re much younger. But you’re 37 and you’re getting to go through this. It’s just like folks are a little bit older and get chicken pox. Inconvenient and it sucks. Take care of you. But it happens. 

As far as asking him, we have to be able to talk to the people we’re engaging in intimate sexual acts with about our health and about their health. Otherwise, we probably shouldn’t be having sexual contact with those people. If you can’t talk to the person that you’re making out with or you’re rubbing genitals with or you’re having sex with about their health status and share with them our own health status, which is important to do because you could have theoretically gotten mono from another place. Now, you’re going to want to make sure that you disclose and have a conversation with him just in case he needs to do something to protect himself.

Dawn Serra: If you can’t have those kinds of conversations, then you probably shouldn’t be engaging in those kinds of relationships until you’ve had a chance to practice and feel like you’re ready for it. It’s always a little bit awkward and vulnerable. It’s just the more that we do it, the less awkward and vulnerable we feel, and the more resilient we are when things go sideways and someone reacts badly. It’s just part of growing up and having these relationships and some of us get to practice it a whole bunch when we’re a teenager. Some of us practice it in college. Some of us practice having these kinds of conversations in our 20s and 30s, then other people don’t have an opportunity to practice having these kinds of conversations until 50, 60, 70 just because of how life can be. 

What you need to do is, one, take care of you. Just make sure that you’re getting better, that you’re resting and you’re drinking your fluids and you’re doing everything that your doctor told you to do. The next thing you need to do is have a conversation and just let the guy know what happened. Like, “I had a sore throat for a couple of days and I thought it was strep. I went to the doctor and he told me it was mono. I just want to talk to you about that a little bit. I know the virus can hang out for a couple of weeks and that most people are immune to it, but have you ever had it? What’s your experience with it?” You know, he might not have had mono for a really long time and for whatever reason, this just happened now. 

Dawn Serra: But it doesn’t have to be a high stakes conversation. It doesn’t have to be something where you, “I’ve got something really serious to tell you and it’s bad news and I really don’t–” No. It’s just, “I thought I had a sore throat–” Or, “I had a sore throat. So I went to the doctor because I thought it was strep. Turns out, it’s mono. So who knew? I’ve never had that before. Can we talk about that?” If he reacts badly to that, if he gives you shit or calls you names or lies, that tells you a lot of information about this human being and whether or not you should even be spending time with them. Hopefully, they receive that conversation, potentially with a little bit of surprise. Like, “Oh. Okay. Well, let’s talk about this. I’ve got questions. Maybe you’ve got questions. Let’s talk about where to go from here.” 

Because the chances are at another point, at some point in your life, you’re probably going to have to have that conversation with chlamydia or herpes or who knows? That’s just part of the price of admission of being a sexual human being on this planet at this time. We have to be more resilient when it comes to these conversations. We have to know it can be really awkward and vulnerable. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it. The better we get at those conversations, the more we practice them, then the easier it becomes for us to be brave and to have those really important conversations, so that we can protect ourselves and protect others and make good decisions that fit our lifestyles and our needs without having to dance around it or be scared. 

I hope that’s helpful. I hope that gives you a jumping off point. Take care of you. You’re not alone. It’s super common. I hope that your partner or the person that you’ve been kissing handles the conversation well. And thank you for writing in, Happy New Year!

Dawn Serra: The final question of the final episode of 2017 comes from Polyamorous Duck. The subject line is, “OkCupid first names.” You’ve probably seen some news in social media over the past week about OkCupid. Let me read Polyamorous’ question. You’ll find out why, and then we’ll talk about it. “OkCupid is shifting away from usernames to first names and I personally don’t feel comfortable about it. My name is personal to me. I’d rather save it for when I’m comfortable chatting with a person than having it displayed for all to see. How do you feel about it?” 

Good question. So OkCupid made this big announcement that they think that the usernames people use are ridiculous and don’t aid in connection and decided that they were going to switch to using real names. Now, they did add a note later after getting lots of angry feedback that says, “We’ve heard from many members of our community that they want to maintain the privacy they enjoy with usernames. With this change, we won’t be collecting full names. Instead, we encourage our users to go by the name they’d like their dates to call them on OkCupid.” 

Dawn Serra: I think they’re softly backpedaling, but I will say there’s been a number of articles since they made this announcement on December 22nd, that OkCupid’s ratings have been plummeting because people are pissed about this. They’ve been leaving the platform. Women are saying that they feel unsafe. Of course, lots of people who are on OkCupid have jobs were having their name could be potentially really compromising, who have family members who wouldn’t be understanding of their sexual identity or their gender identity. The OkCupid folks, I would be really surprised, if they don’t switch back at some point to usernames. 

But I think people should have the option to choose whether they want to list their name or use a username. For people who feel comfortable putting their first name out there, they should have that option to do so. For people who want a little bit more anonymity, I’m specifically thinking about people who are marginalized, who often feel unsafe in online environments, using a username should absolutely be an option. I think it can be really fun and tell us so much about someone’s personality what username they pick. I have certainly rejected people for their username as well because of the story that it told and what I did not want. So it can be helpful that way.

Dawn Serra: I really do think, though, that people should have the option to choose because women, especially trans folks, especially people of color and fat folks especially, get so much harassment online. The less personal information that you have available online, the better. There are so many jerks on OkCupid and Tinder and so many other places who disregard boundaries and don’t know anything about consent and just want to send fucking dick pics and don’t know how to treat other people with basic human decency. So why would I want them to have my first name? Especially if they’ve got a picture of me and my first name, it’s not that hard to do image searches these days. Of course, that technology is only going to spread. 

Personally, I disagree with their move. I think that they should make it available where you can have an anonymous username or make your username your first name or indicate that your first name is what you want people to go by. But I think forcing people to use real names is really, really damaging, especially for people who are sex workers or who aren’t out to family members, all that kind of stuff. The safer we can make people feel in community online, I think the more likely they are to engage with that community. I suspect OkCupid is going to see a big drop off in people using their platform. Potentially, another dating platform could pick up all those lost users by using usernames. So big news. It’ll be interesting to see what they do. I disagree with their decision. I know lots and lots of other people disagree with it as well. So people are already saying match.com could potentially be picking up all of those OkCupid users. Good, timely, relevant question. I hope that you find a place where you feel super safe online Polyamorous Duck, where you don’t have to use your first name, so that you can enjoy whatever it is that you enjoy from your OkCupid profile. 

Dawn Serra: To everybody who listened this week, I want to wish you the happiest of Happy New Year’s. Don’t forget, if you want to support the show, you can go to patreon.com/sgrpodcast. There is bonus content this week available for people who support at the $5 level and above. You can also hear, if you support it any level, bonus content from last week about my favorite things of 2017 to tie in with JoEllen Notte’s episode. Of course, head to dawnserra.com and send me your questions. I love hearing from you. I have powered through a lot of questions these past couple of months. So be sure to send me yours. I’ve got interviews with Mona Darling and Luna Matatas’ coming up this week. So over the next few weeks, we’ll be talking about pro-dominatrix and butt sex and all kinds of really fun stuff. Stay tuned. Have a safe New Year’s and I will talk to you next week.