You don’t need to be perfect to be lovable. So, please stop striving for perfection.
Instead of denying the hurt and the failed expectations, instead of trying to seem like you have it all together, what if you let it all out and showed off the soft, vulnerable parts begging to be recognized?
It’s not your fault that awful things happened to you, even if the manifestation gurus insist otherwise.
It’s not your fault that you can’t find a kind thought to think about your body or your success in a society hellbent on selling you everything from weight loss to better sex to shiny things that mean so little.
It’s not your fault that you don’t know how to ask for what you want, that your voice feels so small, when the world insists on telling you what to feel and how to feel it.
You were never taught to look within for the answers. You were asked to carry everyone else’s burdens.
I have a little secret to share with you, sweet soul. (Or maybe it’s a great big secret… and that’s why nobody knows.)
You hold the key. The rest is just noise.
That shame you carry about your body? It comes from other people who have been hurt or who are afraid. Your body is delightful with it’s scars or fat rolls or sharp edges and glorious genitals.
You do not need to apologize for how you look. Anyone who expects that from you can fuck off.
That fear you have of asking for what you want? It comes from other people telling you who is lovable and who is not. Their insecurities have been used a weapon against you. They’ve also taught you to demand validation from others instead of genuinely allowing others the chance to choose. So it’s all gotten so confusing and messy. No wonder it seems like a shit-show sometimes.
No matter what, though, you deserve love, respect, joy, and support. End of story.
Those doubts you have about your dreams? Those are the whispers of people who have not lived your life.
And it’s true, not all dreams come true, but when you give yourself permission to live your way into them, they often change into something even better than you could have imagined.
Even your anxiety and darkness, my love, come from within you. Other people may tell you that you are broken or too difficult or too much for the world, but inside of you is a warrior who is battling on your behalf for past wounds and traumas. It serves a purpose that only you can unlock and nurture.
Sometimes life is scary. Sometimes love is challenging. Sometimes the easier thing to do is turn to violence – violence towards yourself, violence in thoughts, violence in action.
But you are loved AND you are allowed to fail.
You are the glorious culmination of your mistakes, your pain, your hopes and dreams.
So, even if it seems like no one could ever accept you if you let yourself be seen, know that the truth is you already see you and the world has not ended.
Choose kindness as often as possible, but allow yourself to feel disappointed when things don’t go the way you’d hoped.
Choose love every time you realize you have a choice, but forgive yourself for the times you do not.
Choose to trust your own value and wisdom, as long as it does not deny someone else’s.
And know, REALLY know, deep inside yourself that you already know the answer AND you might not be ready to hear it. We can live in contradiction and grace at the same time.
There is no rush.
There is no finish line.
There’s just this moment, this breath, and a chance to show up. You get that chance again on your next breath, and the next one, and the next.
Open to yourself and allow the world to see your sweet soul. They may judge you or criticize you, they may ask for something different than what you can give, but know that that is on them. Not you.
You are right where you need to be. Shed the stories others have placed upon you and step into your truth.
Embrace your imperfection.